Well it depends on the relationship we made the mc to establish with their brother because if we chose the option that the two siblings were close in the childhood then they are close but what about the other end of the relationship that can become negative, and if we choose our mc hate him then that what happens because as we have seen Gareth is capable of anger both silently and openly when he comes and angryly accuses us for Morgana open affection with Accolon in the tournament(due to the option of choosing to hate him) and also gareth is basically the sibling out of the two that can hide they emotions pretty well and we will never know his thought on the relationship we pursue with his fiance if we are in the hate relaionship with him but if we are close to him, then he reveals he is ok with it, what I am trying to say is that Mc whom hates Gareth should not poke the bear that is pondering wether to devour us the snake in an instant or slowly and painfully
my mc in they childhood: yay when I grow up I wanna be like Accolon
my mc now in they teens: Accolon why are you a simp tell me it not so, I understand she is a thick mommy but why did you have to stoop so low for a baddie like her that is for the street
Great story so far! I've only played up until the point were sir Lancelot was minorly poisoned. The part were Morgana says 'Oh tragedy' Reminds me of the whole 'Sorrows. Prayers.' meme
Fantastic Story! It has gotten a grip on my attention that i've found *Very* hard to find release from! I Love how the story seems to balance so well the day-to-day slice of life bits with the more long term happenings. The ROs are all interesting and loveable so far (with perhaps the understandable exception of Nimue, who we only get short interactions with very early on in the story leading to a certain lack of attachment developing towards her)!
The Story itself is incredibly well written and the narrative quite gripping, a very fun and unique take on the Arthurian Mythos. The text feels slightly repetitive in some paragraphs, feeling a tad.... skippable? but that could simply be related to how rapidly and violently i've been ripping through the story.
I also liked the vast amounts of customization you allowed towards the character of Mordred and how progressive you made the setting. Very nice to see :)
I have encountered a bug near the ending of the current content, when Mordred is confronting their dragon partner about their crush on Elaine's
"Not yet, so shhhhh!" $Dragon_name presses their tail against their snoot, eyes darting in the direction Felix went off. "I just-I'm not sure how to tell them. What if they don't feel the same way? I mean, you've seen them. They're amazing."
All in all i have only praises to sing for this work so far! i'll await further updates eagerly and would most certainly be joining your patreon if i wasn't poor as dirt!
Hello! I love your story! Hope this isn't a stupid question, but how do I get access to the full novel instead of demo? I'm new to this website and don't know how to work patreon either. Or is it not complete yet?
Hi and thank you! It's still a work in progress. The Patreon version is ahead of the public demo, though currently not by a lot, just the arrival of the wedding guests in chapter 5.
Umm,hey firstly let me just say that the storyline and everything..the dilouges and queer representation is exquisitely done,although i was wondering if this is a solo work of yours and if that's the case it would make sense it's taking its time to match the perfection of its previous chapters nonless i don't know if i should say this as it's kinda of an unmasked advice but maybe considering you are working on two stories separately as per what your petron says,you should get a ghost writer or ask someone to be a ghost writer for you..it will make it much more easier to tackle workload and also serve perfection to all of us who are patiently a bit too patiently are awaiting the public release of the next chapter? ✨ Also Secondly,hypthecially when the whole storyline is finished..will the full version be released for free or will it have to be purchased, I hope that's not direct but this is a masterpiece and I just wanna have it on my bucket list before hand soo I can get it just in case.
It's my bad for not updating my various profiles but while my other game, SINY, is not abandoned, neither is it an active project right now. BoC is my main focus and priority, and it's taken me so much to update lately because of health issues I'm still treating. And no, I have no interest in having a ghost writer (if that would even be feasible). I quite enjoy the whole process of writing itself, you know?
The full version of BoC will be available for purchase, though I have no idea of the price as of right now.
Umm hey,firstly thanks for responding and besdies that I really hope that you get better and also feel better in regards to your current health issues,besdies that i appreciate you clarifying everything and whenever the full version is out do know i am getting it no matter what,truly it's a masterpiece deserving to be experienced by everyone,I swear if this masterpiece gets underrated i will kms because the writing and everything it's chefs kiss spectular and this is not just me buttering you up or using empty flattery it truly is and i have not been this excited for a some time..UwU get well soon again and keep slaying and do take care of yourself to not let yours get overworked as i know it can feel pressuring when somthing is soo adored and while it is just don't overwork yourself,take your time caring for yourself and to get it perfection and we all will be waiting patiently being here whenever the next part is out!! Good luck and thanks for granting us the honour of playing this masterpiece..i for one am really excited to meet merlin and spit on his face fr like I wanna choke that old hag of a men to death for all he done to poor modrid,j don't feel as much as hostile to Arthur in comparison to merlin..like i don't wanna hurt Arthur too much just a bit emotionally to make him feel the hurt modrid felt but I wanna torture merlin in every way possible if that makes sense lol..that certainly sounds villionus now
Umm hey,firstly thanks for responding and besdies that I really hope that you get better and also feel better in regards to your current health issues,besdies that i appreciate you clarifying everything and whenever the full version is out do know i am getting it no matter what,truly it's a masterpiece deserving to be experienced by everyone,I swear if this masterpiece gets underrated i will kms because the writing and everything it's chefs kiss spectular and this is not just me buttering you up or using empty flattery it truly is and i have not been this excited for a some time..UwU get well soon again and keep slaying and do take care of yourself to not let yours get overworked as i know it can feel pressuring when somthing is soo adored and while it is just don't overwork yourself,take your time caring for yourself and to get it perfection and we all will be waiting patiently being here whenever the next part is out!! Good luck and thanks for granting us the honour of playing this masterpiece..i for one am really excited to meet merlin and spit on his face fr like I wanna choke that old hag of a men to death for all he done to poor modrid,j don't feel as much as hostile to Arthur in comparison to merlin..like i don't wanna hurt Arthur too much just a bit emotionally to make him feel the hurt modrid felt but I wanna torture merlin in every way possible if that makes sense lol..that certainly sounds villionus now
hi, dear author! i'm loving the story a lot so far, but there seems to be a bug in the relationship stats – i've just began chapater four, and the stats are:
"Gawain:
You don't think much of him.
Galahad:
It's been five years since you first met, and planted the seed of doubt in his heart."
given that mordred is stated to be 11, and that his first kiss was with gawain in my gameplay, i don't believe those stats are correct, right?
there are also constant strange conjugations regarding my dragon's pronouns, like "they walks" and "they is" – i wasn't given the option to choose my dragon's sex as well, but idk if that's a bug or we just can't decide.
thank you sm for the effort put into this game, i wish it was completely released by now so i could spend my whole damn month on it 💔🫂
Hi! Yeah that's def a bug in the relationship stats, will have it fixed! As for the strange conjugations - it's an issue I'm still working on, going everywhere and fixing each typo.
A small note: there's a few instances in the game's script where you've used variable named gawain_ro (as opposed to Gawain_ro) This causes some minor bugs, like conditionals which check for Gawain's romance always failing even if he does have feelings for MC, or the romance "score" not getting properly updated. hth.
This game is definitely shaping up to be one of the best narratives for this genre, and I really appreciate the retelling of the original story in a more open-ended way. It allows us to shape Mordred's personality and opinions, which is great. However, there is one thing that bothered me and kind of disrupted the flow of the story. We're still in the early stages of the overall story, with the author planning to make four books. The first three chapters of book one were fantastic and enjoyable, but chapter four fell apart. I have to say, if the author ever sees this, please tone down the descriptions of pointless places that won't appear again or serve any purpose. Chapter four is filled with an overwhelming amount of text describing things that didn't need that much attention. It's okay to explain places and things to paint a picture for the readers, but when it's done excessively, it slows down the story. Another issue is how slow-paced chapter four is, with all the unnecessary tasks and chores. It feels like filler, as if the author hasn't figured out how to move the story forward yet. I got bored reading it and ended up skimming over the lines of useless descriptions. Thankfully, things pick up near the end, and the ending of chapter four was great. Still, it felt like a missed opportunity. But hey, I'm not the writer of this story, just sharing my thoughts as a fellow game writer. On a positive note, chapter five had a better pace, and the drama and everything were enjoyable to read.
i held that critic to msf until now, since i love the story, its characters and how well-written it is, but i agree with you 🫠 i didn't play chapater 4 yet, but i found myself skimming a third of the paragraphs at chapter 3: there was too much repetion of story beats, like how you'd have to tell other characters again and again the same things – i believe four different characters asked about my relationship with gawain. FOUR. and, since i wanted to be close to all of them, i had to recount things non-stop, even tho my mordred was already certain he liked gawain.
i believe the author doesn't understand yet how telling is equally important to showing, nor when to not include a scene all together. they're totally capable of developing these skills, tho, so i hope they don't read our comments as offensive. i love their attention to details on specific moments – like in the RPG between the little boys scene, my fav part of the book so far, lovely amazing – but there's only so much description of foods and festivities of unimportant npcs you can read until it gets tiresome.
so, i'm halfway through chapter 5 now and, yeah... my tip for the author would be to withhold lore until it's necessary. i know we can get excited with world building, but we gotta step back and ask ourselves if we're answering questions the readers, supposedly, must be eager to know by now, or if we're just oversharing at the cost of almost stopping the pace. as for now, different from the first chapters, it's too much information and too little actually happening. chapter 4 was a chore to get through, while chapter 5 literally lectures you on lore. if you're like me and is not that interested on elaine, there's not much to hold your attention, really.
hope the author understands i say those things out of love for the story, aaa 🫠💞 i'm very invested and looking forward to it. i've even been talking about it with my sister! lol. pls, author, don't feel unmotivated by the critics, i'd rather you ignore them all than abandoning this work
Unfortunately I agree. I've got ADHD and I absolutely love to read, CYOA games are part of my favourite genres. But when it gets to be too much information and world building, my brain loses interest and no matter how hard I try, I can't stay engaged so I just end up skimming until I find something that seems interesting, which is a shame when someone spends so much time writing a full story.
i'm under professional suspicion of ADHD so yep, i feel you! but, with The Golden Rose as one of my favourite IFs, and ASOIAF as my fav book series, both known for having "endless" descriptions, it becomes clear the problem here is not our ADHD (i know that's not what you meant, just wanted to make it clear in case someone thinks that).
the difference between you and me is that i also have OCD: i don't skim, i feel like i have to read every single word 😭 so i just end up DNFing slow books altogether. which brings me to the question: has the author made any edits or got better regarding descriptions and info-dumping? i'd love to keep playing this game, but only if i know the slowness isn't forever.
I absolutely get that. I'm autistic as well (AuDHD) and I feel very uncomfortable not understanding the entirety of a setting in case I miss out on something crucial, but I get so absolutely word blind when the chapters get so incredibly descriptive and it seems like in the case of this WIP, that is unfortunately rather consistent. I understand the desire to elaborate when you've built an entire world, but you MUST consider that this is something that needs to capture your audience and keep them engaged, and when it drones on and on and on about things that have no impact or relevance to the rest of the story at all, some serious cutting needs to be done.
What really helps me with books like ASOIAF is listening to audio books instead of reading them myself, that way I can draw/play games/DIY or whatever and still manage to pay attention to the story because of the additional stimuli.
I haven't got round to making edits; writing in general has been slower because of health issues I've been experiencing, but I listened to the feedback and I do intent to revise the demo.
Thank you for the feedback! I admit, looking back on chapter 4 I did get way too carried away with descriptions and the slice of life aspect of it...I'm planning on going back and revising it, as well as taking out certain superfluous bits and editing scenes.
This is by far my favorite itch game! I feel really involved in the story by my choices. I love Modred and I want to protect them from the world. There is just one thing that I was really disappointed on. I simply wish that the introductions between the step mom and Modred is not just mentioned, but actually showing me this meeting and providing choices in how this interactions went. Otherwise, the story just feels rushed past the introductions and lacks that emotional tie. At the moment I have little opinion over the step mom because of this skipped scene and little interactions so far. Despite of this, I'm still a biggest fan and I'm always finding myself replaying this game. You have a great writing talent!
Thank you! ❤ I really appreciate the feedback; I wasn't satisfied with Guinevere's lack of content so far, either, so I've decided to make changes to give her an earlier introduction in chapter 3! This way Mordred (and the player) will get to meet her on-screen and interact with her, and we'll also see more of her in Arthur's POVs within that chapter.
Chapters 1-3 were quite strong but during chapter 4 the story just grinded to a major halt. Lots of time spent detailing locations we'll likely never see again, or random daily tasks that don't actually move the plot forward, yet no time spent detailing our first meeting with our own step mom!? Just a brief line about her having been nice to meet? That's so SAD. I was looking forward to our first meeting :(
Anyway, I can't get past the beginnings of Ch4. I'll wait until the story progresses and then slog my way through when I at least know that there will be lots more content to enjoy afterwards.
Good luck, author. Lots of potential to this story. Please consider making adjustments to Ch4 tho lol.
I would like to ask a question ,and if you can't answer that's fine I apologize if it was rude, how may chapters will this story have? NVM I saw someone in the comments answer my question lol but thank you nonetheless for writing this story, so my next question, will we see our character as a young adult or is that for the future novels?
Updates usually come out every time the patreon finishes a chapter, or reaches the midway point. The author broke her wrist a while ago however, so it is probably going to be a while until an update for either the patreon or public demo comes out!
as far as i know there is none (dont quote me on that), but if you go onto the authors tumblr theres a pinterest board that shows each of the characters aesthetics and stuff.
As for other characters, there aren't any portraits out yet, but if you scroll back far enough on the tumblr- say to 2022- you'll be able to find the picrews she did of the cast!
Edit: Also if you head over to the pinterest boards as mjmjh said, you get a really good feel as to the overall aesthetics of each character in game!
According to the tumblr (don't quote me it's been a while) book 1 is expected to be somewhere between 14-16 chapters, and there are going to be 4 installments in total for the series.
I’m already dating Gawain with my eye on Gally (long-term goals). I am fairly confident that as soon as things start to turn around with Galahad, Isac and Agravain are gonna walk in and sweep me off my feet, forcing me to reevaluate my plans again lol.
literally me kissing and holding hands with gawain, already planning how i'm gonna make galahad's heart mine 💀 i can't help but make my characters serial flirts even when they're CHILDREN, for god's sake. i feel like one of mordred's terrible caretakers, but in the love department...
Im truly enjoying the game! I espcially enjoy how you have made it so both Arthur and Morgana have proper reasons for what they do, and flaws, so that neither is entirely correct or innocent.
One question though, what exactly does oblivious romance mean?
I really like this game! As someone who used to be a big fan Arthurian it is nice to see a game based on them. I love the way you can make galahd question all of his life choices just by being nice to him hahah. Gawain is such a sweet heart! I can't wait for this game to continued! like how are you going to handle Gawain and the green knight, Galahad and the grail, and How Lancelot and Guinevere romance will effect other characters. One complaint and that is with the choices, sometimes there are big gaps in-between choices and i keep having to scroll all the way down the page to make sure I wasn't missing any.
Llamagirl: We’ve got lots of love interests here for you! Me: Ooooh yes please show me the selection 🙏🏼 Llamagirl: Ok so we got sweet and innocent Gawain, childhood-crush Nimue, strong and passionate Elaine, and lots of other good LI’s for you to-
Galahad: I hope you and your entire bloodline burn in the fiery trenches of Tartarus where I never again have to be defiled by your filth. Shrivel up and die TRASH.
I can't help but be affected by Fate Grand Order, another game. That is all I need to give Galahad a chance, that and the fact that he IS acting out of concern for Gawain, plus he's still learning about the world.
Course, it's cause of FGO I get so confused... Because Morgan exists as THREE entities all at once: Morganna, Arthur's loving sister and daughter of Uther; Morgan Le Fay, Arthur's most viscious foe who constantly tried ot destroy him; Viviane, the Lady in the Lake who gave him Excalibur. Due to this she is the mother of Mordred (with Arthur), Agavain (Due to Lot), Gareth (Due to Lot), Gawain (Don't know who the father is but it's mentioned she raised him in Orkney) AND she's Lancelot's FOSTER mom due to the aspect as Viviane... plus apparently Viviane and Merlin were lovers? I get soo confused with the lore here due to Fate handeling her as a greater fairy and divided part of the planet's soul, so of course MULTIPLE conflicting legends are ALL true
When it comes to Arthurian mythos its about as complicated and messy as just about every mythos out there, so i wouldn't get too caught up on what a characters characterization is in certain variations of the story differing from other tellings. For example Mordred as a character wasn't even a villain or related to Arthur (hell in the very first instance of Arthur and Mordred as characters they died in the same battle but no mention is made of whether they fought alongside eachother or against eachother or any of that) and over the centuries Mordred variously is Arthurs child (like we have in this instance), nephew, archenemy and traitor, etc.
could use a pass by an editor-inclined pal or so, if you can wrangle any. Nothing massive, grammar, inconsistancies, the odd typo. doesnt ruin the experience though.
I love the new additions and small changes. My Mordred seems to be building a strong circle of friendship with Gareth, Gawain, and now Elaine. Now just to get Gally back into the picture. (the future RO. =P) I'm a little surprised by our dragon's crush...Was more hoping he'd get close to Galahad's dragon to. But my Mordred is nothing if not fully supportive and loving of his friends. He'll be the best wingman his little 15y old butt can be with zero romantic experience.
I also love that Mordred now has a shared hobby of wood whittling along with Arthur. <3 I also love that we can have a more...strained relationship with Morgana now. Mordred still loves her cause...well...she is his mom...but the trust and openess he had for her has definitely died ever since he learned the truth. Now he just tries to temper her wrath and work towards his own life goals (and not her revenge).
One of the best IFs I think Ive ever had the pleasure of reading. Flowing prose, smart language, layered characters and motivations. Eagerly waiting for any and all future updates!
As a positive I really wanted to mention.. I appreciate the variation you've put into the gender exploration. The nb options go from neither to both to more femme or masculine leaning across the spectrum and I adore it so much! It must have been a lot of work to code all the intricacies, but it's so dearly appreciated! Thank you!
Sorry about the multiple comments before this. Wanted to send screenshots of problems, though they may not be problems and just my unfamiliarity with flowery language. Anyways loved the update our dragon and Felix? Love it. I hope we get more scenes with Accolon and building our relationship. The entire time I read this I'm just hoping Lot sees Igraine in Mordred and it drives him crazy.
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damn i really am cucking my brother, one of the few people that supported me during my whole life. maybe i am a bastard
it's only a problem if he minds...which he very obviously doesn't in game so. take what you will.
yeah, i was just at the beginning at the chapter 5 when i commented and thought he would mind since he didn't fight his dad decision
Oh lol, I got you. Though if my dad was Lot, I probably wouldn't argue with his decrepit ass. Probably wouldn't have changed anything ngl.
Well it depends on the relationship we made the mc to establish with their brother because if we chose the option that the two siblings were close in the childhood then they are close but what about the other end of the relationship that can become negative, and if we choose our mc hate him then that what happens because as we have seen Gareth is capable of anger both silently and openly when he comes and angryly accuses us for Morgana open affection with Accolon in the tournament(due to the option of choosing to hate him) and also gareth is basically the sibling out of the two that can hide they emotions pretty well and we will never know his thought on the relationship we pursue with his fiance if we are in the hate relaionship with him but if we are close to him, then he reveals he is ok with it, what I am trying to say is that Mc whom hates Gareth should not poke the bear that is pondering wether to devour us the snake in an instant or slowly and painfully
PH MY GODDDDD
I love it so much!!! It's amazing, can't wait for more!
my mc in they childhood: yay when I grow up I wanna be like Accolon
my mc now in they teens: Accolon why are you a simp tell me it not so, I understand she is a thick mommy but why did you have to stoop so low for a baddie like her that is for the street
This was actually amazing, ive never been so invested in anything before (please continue this and dont die 😔🙏)
😂😂😂 i love your content, please dont die
I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH, this was such a long demo. It was so entertaining !
*Spoilers maybe*
Great story so far! I've only played up until the point were sir Lancelot was minorly poisoned. The part were Morgana says 'Oh tragedy' Reminds me of the whole 'Sorrows. Prayers.' meme
“O’sorrow. You see, I have ended, by respecting you, because I am certain you will never leave me”
Hello There!
Fantastic Story! It has gotten a grip on my attention that i've found *Very* hard to find release from! I Love how the story seems to balance so well the day-to-day slice of life bits with the more long term happenings. The ROs are all interesting and loveable so far (with perhaps the understandable exception of Nimue, who we only get short interactions with very early on in the story leading to a certain lack of attachment developing towards her)!
The Story itself is incredibly well written and the narrative quite gripping, a very fun and unique take on the Arthurian Mythos. The text feels slightly repetitive in some paragraphs, feeling a tad.... skippable? but that could simply be related to how rapidly and violently i've been ripping through the story.
I also liked the vast amounts of customization you allowed towards the character of Mordred and how progressive you made the setting. Very nice to see :)
I have encountered a bug near the ending of the current content, when Mordred is confronting their dragon partner about their crush on Elaine's
"Not yet, so shhhhh!" $Dragon_name presses their tail against their snoot, eyes darting in the direction Felix went off. "I just-I'm not sure how to tell them. What if they don't feel the same way? I mean, you've seen them. They're amazing."
All in all i have only praises to sing for this work so far! i'll await further updates eagerly and would most certainly be joining your patreon if i wasn't poor as dirt!
Thank you! ❤ And will have that bug handled.
Hello! I love your story! Hope this isn't a stupid question, but how do I get access to the full novel instead of demo? I'm new to this website and don't know how to work patreon either. Or is it not complete yet?
Hi and thank you! It's still a work in progress. The Patreon version is ahead of the public demo, though currently not by a lot, just the arrival of the wedding guests in chapter 5.
Is there a time estimate on the next update?
Not yet! What I can tell you is that the next public update will be the second half of chapter 5.
Umm,hey firstly let me just say that the storyline and everything..the dilouges and queer representation is exquisitely done,although i was wondering if this is a solo work of yours and if that's the case it would make sense it's taking its time to match the perfection of its previous chapters nonless i don't know if i should say this as it's kinda of an unmasked advice but maybe considering you are working on two stories separately as per what your petron says,you should get a ghost writer or ask someone to be a ghost writer for you..it will make it much more easier to tackle workload and also serve perfection to all of us who are patiently a bit too patiently are awaiting the public release of the next chapter? ✨ Also Secondly,hypthecially when the whole storyline is finished..will the full version be released for free or will it have to be purchased, I hope that's not direct but this is a masterpiece and I just wanna have it on my bucket list before hand soo I can get it just in case.
It's my bad for not updating my various profiles but while my other game, SINY, is not abandoned, neither is it an active project right now. BoC is my main focus and priority, and it's taken me so much to update lately because of health issues I'm still treating. And no, I have no interest in having a ghost writer (if that would even be feasible). I quite enjoy the whole process of writing itself, you know?
The full version of BoC will be available for purchase, though I have no idea of the price as of right now.
Umm hey,firstly thanks for responding and besdies that I really hope that you get better and also feel better in regards to your current health issues,besdies that i appreciate you clarifying everything and whenever the full version is out do know i am getting it no matter what,truly it's a masterpiece deserving to be experienced by everyone,I swear if this masterpiece gets underrated i will kms because the writing and everything it's chefs kiss spectular and this is not just me buttering you up or using empty flattery it truly is and i have not been this excited for a some time..UwU get well soon again and keep slaying and do take care of yourself to not let yours get overworked as i know it can feel pressuring when somthing is soo adored and while it is just don't overwork yourself,take your time caring for yourself and to get it perfection and we all will be waiting patiently being here whenever the next part is out!! Good luck and thanks for granting us the honour of playing this masterpiece..i for one am really excited to meet merlin and spit on his face fr like I wanna choke that old hag of a men to death for all he done to poor modrid,j don't feel as much as hostile to Arthur in comparison to merlin..like i don't wanna hurt Arthur too much just a bit emotionally to make him feel the hurt modrid felt but I wanna torture merlin in every way possible if that makes sense lol..that certainly sounds villionus now
Umm hey,firstly thanks for responding and besdies that I really hope that you get better and also feel better in regards to your current health issues,besdies that i appreciate you clarifying everything and whenever the full version is out do know i am getting it no matter what,truly it's a masterpiece deserving to be experienced by everyone,I swear if this masterpiece gets underrated i will kms because the writing and everything it's chefs kiss spectular and this is not just me buttering you up or using empty flattery it truly is and i have not been this excited for a some time..UwU get well soon again and keep slaying and do take care of yourself to not let yours get overworked as i know it can feel pressuring when somthing is soo adored and while it is just don't overwork yourself,take your time caring for yourself and to get it perfection and we all will be waiting patiently being here whenever the next part is out!! Good luck and thanks for granting us the honour of playing this masterpiece..i for one am really excited to meet merlin and spit on his face fr like I wanna choke that old hag of a men to death for all he done to poor modrid,j don't feel as much as hostile to Arthur in comparison to merlin..like i don't wanna hurt Arthur too much just a bit emotionally to make him feel the hurt modrid felt but I wanna torture merlin in every way possible if that makes sense lol..that certainly sounds villionus now
hi, dear author! i'm loving the story a lot so far, but there seems to be a bug in the relationship stats – i've just began chapater four, and the stats are:
"Gawain:
You don't think much of him.
Galahad:
It's been five years since you first met, and planted the seed of doubt in his heart."
given that mordred is stated to be 11, and that his first kiss was with gawain in my gameplay, i don't believe those stats are correct, right?
there are also constant strange conjugations regarding my dragon's pronouns, like "they walks" and "they is" – i wasn't given the option to choose my dragon's sex as well, but idk if that's a bug or we just can't decide.
thank you sm for the effort put into this game, i wish it was completely released by now so i could spend my whole damn month on it 💔🫂
Hi! Yeah that's def a bug in the relationship stats, will have it fixed! As for the strange conjugations - it's an issue I'm still working on, going everywhere and fixing each typo.
And thank you so much! ❤
hi! I am also having this problem. Does this affect the storyline and choices moving forward?
Nope, the issue is just with the text in the stat page. Though of course if you notice something strange in the story itself do let me know!
What's the word count so far?
can't wait for the next chapter!!! I'm excited and curious.
A small note: there's a few instances in the game's script where you've used variable named gawain_ro (as opposed to Gawain_ro) This causes some minor bugs, like conditionals which check for Gawain's romance always failing even if he does have feelings for MC, or the romance "score" not getting properly updated. hth.
Thank you for catching that!
This game is definitely shaping up to be one of the best narratives for this genre, and I really appreciate the retelling of the original story in a more open-ended way. It allows us to shape Mordred's personality and opinions, which is great. However, there is one thing that bothered me and kind of disrupted the flow of the story. We're still in the early stages of the overall story, with the author planning to make four books. The first three chapters of book one were fantastic and enjoyable, but chapter four fell apart. I have to say, if the author ever sees this, please tone down the descriptions of pointless places that won't appear again or serve any purpose. Chapter four is filled with an overwhelming amount of text describing things that didn't need that much attention. It's okay to explain places and things to paint a picture for the readers, but when it's done excessively, it slows down the story. Another issue is how slow-paced chapter four is, with all the unnecessary tasks and chores. It feels like filler, as if the author hasn't figured out how to move the story forward yet. I got bored reading it and ended up skimming over the lines of useless descriptions. Thankfully, things pick up near the end, and the ending of chapter four was great. Still, it felt like a missed opportunity. But hey, I'm not the writer of this story, just sharing my thoughts as a fellow game writer. On a positive note, chapter five had a better pace, and the drama and everything were enjoyable to read.
i held that critic to msf until now, since i love the story, its characters and how well-written it is, but i agree with you 🫠 i didn't play chapater 4 yet, but i found myself skimming a third of the paragraphs at chapter 3: there was too much repetion of story beats, like how you'd have to tell other characters again and again the same things – i believe four different characters asked about my relationship with gawain. FOUR. and, since i wanted to be close to all of them, i had to recount things non-stop, even tho my mordred was already certain he liked gawain.
i believe the author doesn't understand yet how telling is equally important to showing, nor when to not include a scene all together. they're totally capable of developing these skills, tho, so i hope they don't read our comments as offensive. i love their attention to details on specific moments – like in the RPG between the little boys scene, my fav part of the book so far, lovely amazing – but there's only so much description of foods and festivities of unimportant npcs you can read until it gets tiresome.
so, i'm halfway through chapter 5 now and, yeah... my tip for the author would be to withhold lore until it's necessary. i know we can get excited with world building, but we gotta step back and ask ourselves if we're answering questions the readers, supposedly, must be eager to know by now, or if we're just oversharing at the cost of almost stopping the pace. as for now, different from the first chapters, it's too much information and too little actually happening. chapter 4 was a chore to get through, while chapter 5 literally lectures you on lore. if you're like me and is not that interested on elaine, there's not much to hold your attention, really.
hope the author understands i say those things out of love for the story, aaa 🫠💞 i'm very invested and looking forward to it. i've even been talking about it with my sister! lol. pls, author, don't feel unmotivated by the critics, i'd rather you ignore them all than abandoning this work
Unfortunately I agree. I've got ADHD and I absolutely love to read, CYOA games are part of my favourite genres. But when it gets to be too much information and world building, my brain loses interest and no matter how hard I try, I can't stay engaged so I just end up skimming until I find something that seems interesting, which is a shame when someone spends so much time writing a full story.
i'm under professional suspicion of ADHD so yep, i feel you! but, with The Golden Rose as one of my favourite IFs, and ASOIAF as my fav book series, both known for having "endless" descriptions, it becomes clear the problem here is not our ADHD (i know that's not what you meant, just wanted to make it clear in case someone thinks that).
the difference between you and me is that i also have OCD: i don't skim, i feel like i have to read every single word 😭 so i just end up DNFing slow books altogether. which brings me to the question: has the author made any edits or got better regarding descriptions and info-dumping? i'd love to keep playing this game, but only if i know the slowness isn't forever.
I absolutely get that. I'm autistic as well (AuDHD) and I feel very uncomfortable not understanding the entirety of a setting in case I miss out on something crucial, but I get so absolutely word blind when the chapters get so incredibly descriptive and it seems like in the case of this WIP, that is unfortunately rather consistent. I understand the desire to elaborate when you've built an entire world, but you MUST consider that this is something that needs to capture your audience and keep them engaged, and when it drones on and on and on about things that have no impact or relevance to the rest of the story at all, some serious cutting needs to be done.
What really helps me with books like ASOIAF is listening to audio books instead of reading them myself, that way I can draw/play games/DIY or whatever and still manage to pay attention to the story because of the additional stimuli.
I haven't got round to making edits; writing in general has been slower because of health issues I've been experiencing, but I listened to the feedback and I do intent to revise the demo.
Thank you for the feedback! I admit, looking back on chapter 4 I did get way too carried away with descriptions and the slice of life aspect of it...I'm planning on going back and revising it, as well as taking out certain superfluous bits and editing scenes.
This is by far my favorite itch game! I feel really involved in the story by my choices. I love Modred and I want to protect them from the world. There is just one thing that I was really disappointed on. I simply wish that the introductions between the step mom and Modred is not just mentioned, but actually showing me this meeting and providing choices in how this interactions went. Otherwise, the story just feels rushed past the introductions and lacks that emotional tie. At the moment I have little opinion over the step mom because of this skipped scene and little interactions so far. Despite of this, I'm still a biggest fan and I'm always finding myself replaying this game. You have a great writing talent!
Thank you! ❤ I really appreciate the feedback; I wasn't satisfied with Guinevere's lack of content so far, either, so I've decided to make changes to give her an earlier introduction in chapter 3! This way Mordred (and the player) will get to meet her on-screen and interact with her, and we'll also see more of her in Arthur's POVs within that chapter.
this game is amazing, is there a discord for this?
https://discord.gg/x8NXDhb2qa
thank you so much. Didn’t expect a response to be honest
no problem! its pretty quiet so feel free to start a conversation...
Chapters 1-3 were quite strong but during chapter 4 the story just grinded to a major halt. Lots of time spent detailing locations we'll likely never see again, or random daily tasks that don't actually move the plot forward, yet no time spent detailing our first meeting with our own step mom!? Just a brief line about her having been nice to meet? That's so SAD. I was looking forward to our first meeting :(
Anyway, I can't get past the beginnings of Ch4. I'll wait until the story progresses and then slog my way through when I at least know that there will be lots more content to enjoy afterwards.
Good luck, author. Lots of potential to this story. Please consider making adjustments to Ch4 tho lol.
I would like to ask a question ,and if you can't answer that's fine I apologize if it was rude, how may chapters will this story have? NVM I saw someone in the comments answer my question lol but thank you nonetheless for writing this story, so my next question, will we see our character as a young adult or is that for the future novels?
Mordred turns 18 in chapter 6; they'll be 19 for the rest of book one.
how often do updates comme out? when will the next update be??
Updates usually come out every time the patreon finishes a chapter, or reaches the midway point. The author broke her wrist a while ago however, so it is probably going to be a while until an update for either the patreon or public demo comes out!
ok, thank you so much!
Where can I find the portraits of the characters (specifically Gawain, I love him)
as far as i know there is none (dont quote me on that), but if you go onto the authors tumblr theres a pinterest board that shows each of the characters aesthetics and stuff.
Galahad got one during a collab with the game dev of infinite stars! She posted the announcement on both tumblr and patreon.
https://www.tumblr.com/llamagirl28/719283327167873024/merlin-brings-you-an-excit...- the galahad portraits are at the very end of the post.
As for other characters, there aren't any portraits out yet, but if you scroll back far enough on the tumblr- say to 2022- you'll be able to find the picrews she did of the cast!
Edit: Also if you head over to the pinterest boards as mjmjh said, you get a really good feel as to the overall aesthetics of each character in game!
Hey, is there a discord server where I can talk with ppl about this game?
No idea; if you figure that out, please let me know!!
https://discord.gg/8dt2gnTe- link to the discord!
this link has expired D:
Oh mein gotten that is insane,,,,truly
Link: https://discord.gg/kZS23pdu
you have saved me.... I have a place to talk about my beloved gally........ty!!
I LOVE THIS!!! I've always loved the Arthurian legend, and being able to go through it interactively is a dream come true!
Btw, how long do you intend for this to be by the end? (doesn't need to be exact, just a ballpark estimate is fine, again, love your work)
According to the tumblr (don't quote me it's been a while) book 1 is expected to be somewhere between 14-16 chapters, and there are going to be 4 installments in total for the series.
I’m already dating Gawain with my eye on Gally (long-term goals). I am fairly confident that as soon as things start to turn around with Galahad, Isac and Agravain are gonna walk in and sweep me off my feet, forcing me to reevaluate my plans again lol.
literally me kissing and holding hands with gawain, already planning how i'm gonna make galahad's heart mine 💀 i can't help but make my characters serial flirts even when they're CHILDREN, for god's sake. i feel like one of mordred's terrible caretakers, but in the love department...
stop this image is so real 😭
like Morgana I don’t give a shit if vengeance is my birthright I want a pony for my birthday I'm twelve.
NO WHO AM I GOING TO CHOOSE SHOULD I WAIT FOR GALAHAD OR GO FOR ELAINE??
cant wait for more
I can't get enough of this. Morgana my beloved tbh
Im truly enjoying the game! I espcially enjoy how you have made it so both Arthur and Morgana have proper reasons for what they do, and flaws, so that neither is entirely correct or innocent.
One question though, what exactly does oblivious romance mean?
A crush that Mordred doesn't realize is a crush yet (like the beginning stages of one)
I really like this game! As someone who used to be a big fan Arthurian it is nice to see a game based on them. I love the way you can make galahd question all of his life choices just by being nice to him hahah. Gawain is such a sweet heart! I can't wait for this game to continued! like how are you going to handle Gawain and the green knight, Galahad and the grail, and How Lancelot and Guinevere romance will effect other characters. One complaint and that is with the choices, sometimes there are big gaps in-between choices and i keep having to scroll all the way down the page to make sure I wasn't missing any.
Llamagirl: We’ve got lots of love interests here for you!
Me: Ooooh yes please show me the selection 🙏🏼 Llamagirl: Ok so we got sweet and innocent Gawain, childhood-crush Nimue, strong and passionate Elaine, and lots of other good LI’s for you to-
Galahad: I hope you and your entire bloodline burn in the fiery trenches of Tartarus where I never again have to be defiled by your filth. Shrivel up and die TRASH.
Me:….That one.
Llamagirl: WHA-????
Oh, trust me, she understands why Galahad is so popular. xD
Me: I second that.
Galahad: *completely unable to comprehend how this is happening to him...*
I can't help but be affected by Fate Grand Order, another game. That is all I need to give Galahad a chance, that and the fact that he IS acting out of concern for Gawain, plus he's still learning about the world.
Course, it's cause of FGO I get so confused... Because Morgan exists as THREE entities all at once: Morganna, Arthur's loving sister and daughter of Uther; Morgan Le Fay, Arthur's most viscious foe who constantly tried ot destroy him; Viviane, the Lady in the Lake who gave him Excalibur. Due to this she is the mother of Mordred (with Arthur), Agavain (Due to Lot), Gareth (Due to Lot), Gawain (Don't know who the father is but it's mentioned she raised him in Orkney) AND she's Lancelot's FOSTER mom due to the aspect as Viviane... plus apparently Viviane and Merlin were lovers? I get soo confused with the lore here due to Fate handeling her as a greater fairy and divided part of the planet's soul, so of course MULTIPLE conflicting legends are ALL true
When it comes to Arthurian mythos its about as complicated and messy as just about every mythos out there, so i wouldn't get too caught up on what a characters characterization is in certain variations of the story differing from other tellings. For example Mordred as a character wasn't even a villain or related to Arthur (hell in the very first instance of Arthur and Mordred as characters they died in the same battle but no mention is made of whether they fought alongside eachother or against eachother or any of that) and over the centuries Mordred variously is Arthurs child (like we have in this instance), nephew, archenemy and traitor, etc.
ME FR.
I can't explain it but just 🤭😮💨😵💫😩
I just finished the latest update and I feel *wow*
This has to be one of my favorite interactive stories ever. Please never stop writing this ❤️❤️❤️
great update, and great story as usual!
could use a pass by an editor-inclined pal or so, if you can wrangle any. Nothing massive, grammar, inconsistancies, the odd typo. doesnt ruin the experience though.
I love the new additions and small changes. My Mordred seems to be building a strong circle of friendship with Gareth, Gawain, and now Elaine. Now just to get Gally back into the picture. (the future RO. =P) I'm a little surprised by our dragon's crush...Was more hoping he'd get close to Galahad's dragon to. But my Mordred is nothing if not fully supportive and loving of his friends. He'll be the best wingman his little 15y old butt can be with zero romantic experience.
I also love that Mordred now has a shared hobby of wood whittling along with Arthur. <3 I also love that we can have a more...strained relationship with Morgana now. Mordred still loves her cause...well...she is his mom...but the trust and openess he had for her has definitely died ever since he learned the truth. Now he just tries to temper her wrath and work towards his own life goals (and not her revenge).
Done playing the demo. But I want to play the full game/book. I really like it.
One of the best IFs I think Ive ever had the pleasure of reading. Flowing prose, smart language, layered characters and motivations. Eagerly waiting for any and all future updates!
As a positive I really wanted to mention.. I appreciate the variation you've put into the gender exploration. The nb options go from neither to both to more femme or masculine leaning across the spectrum and I adore it so much! It must have been a lot of work to code all the intricacies, but it's so dearly appreciated! Thank you!
Sorry about the multiple comments before this. Wanted to send screenshots of problems, though they may not be problems and just my unfamiliarity with flowery language. Anyways loved the update our dragon and Felix? Love it. I hope we get more scenes with Accolon and building our relationship. The entire time I read this I'm just hoping Lot sees Igraine in Mordred and it drives him crazy.
No worries, I always appreciate screenshots for typos and the likes. Thank you!