Nope, TBOC is still kicking on! she's finishing up chapter 5, but the authors hand has been Not Doing Great, so this chapters progress will be rather slow as she recovers.
Amazing writing, but small twine coding detail: the <<silently>> command could be used to clean up the massive blank spaces left at the bottom of some passages. That way code and hidden choices don't add extra line breaks to the passage and make them super long.
Is it weird that my favorite part is your really well thought out lesson plan? Thank you for being so conscientious about it, it felt so very reasonable and served as a great intro to the lore as we learn alongside our little protagonist!
Just finished reading up to the end of the current demo and overall I really enjoyed it! 😀
To start with, I'll talk about the parts I had some problems with. There were some points during the last two chapters (3 & 4) while Mordred was going about his daily life/lessons when nothing much was happening and it just felt like a bit of an info (lore) dump. I other words, it sort of dragged and I began to lose interest and skimmed. I wanted to be honest about my personal experience here even if it might not be the glowing praise some would give. Skimming is a subconscious reaction for me when my brain stops feeling engaged and searches for the next point of interest in a story. I'm not saying it was that way for other readers, but it was so far me.
I also lost some interest in the dragons, which somehow feel a little too normalised now, even mundane, and my 'fierce' dragon feels quite tame. I feel it's become a bit lax in upholding that sense of wonder that, as bonded as we may be with our dragon, we should still feel from time to time over these powerful creatures. I also feel that, due to being a Pendragon/Dragonblood, our insight and connection with dragons in general, even if we're cautious in not showing it, should still feel more profound then it does. Like we just perceive them on a level that others (besides Arthur) cannot, even if we're not actively engaging them. I still don't really get that vibe from it.
But other than those bits, I found your writing style is very mature and polished. I really love the way you portray Morgana - she genuinely feels as powerful and formidable as she should feel, and I think she is the character you write best. I'm always interested to see what she'll do next and what little (or not-so-little) schemes she's got cooking. Really nice. Our Mordred is also a well written MC - suitably complex. Lastly, I'm enjoying the building yet conflicted relationship between Mordred and Arthur - I'm really intrigued to see the future difficulties the relationship faces as the two grow closer and Arthur becomes even more conflicted between his trust in Merlin's prophecy and his own (potential) desire to recognise Mordred as his successor, and of course the potential public fallout of such a revelation. But I suppose that's all quite far in the future! Most importantly, I felt disappointed when I reached the end of the demo and there was no more for now, which is always a good sign. 😊
I also hope we see more of Galahad soon - my male Mordred's chosen LI. So far the parts with him have been my favourite parts of this story (what can I say? I'm a sucker for the enemies-to-lovers trope). I enjoyed the nature of Mordred's relationship with him during our first meeting, and how by the end Galahad is potentially torn between the desire to believe and follow his father and the realisation that his father is not as perfect or right as he originally imagined, and Mordred may not be this world-ender that he's made to believe. I also like the antagonism between them too, and am interested to see how they'll interact when they're reunited after 5 years - what's changed, and how the attraction blossoms (both advertently and inadvertently) out of what starts out as antagonism. The complexity and changing nature of it is always a fun experience, in my opinion! ❤
I'm also wondering - will it be possible to romance Galahad even if our Mordred doesn't exactly try to befriend him? By that I mean, Mordred might still antagonise Galahad as he does him, but Galahad is observant enough to see how Mordred acts toward people he cares about, and that Mordred may not be quite as "horrible" as all that, not to mention Mordred's teasing flirts (potentially) getting him a bit flustered despite himself. Anyway, it would be interesting to know!
As a #galahad historian whose stalked his tag on the blog relentlessly, you can romance galahad without befriending him! As long as you show some romantic interest in him (whether oblivious or knowingly) and try to change his mind on you being Evil McEvilsteen from the Land of All Evil, a romance can happen!
Well, according to (very old, so don't shoot me if I'm wrong) tumblr asks, you can flirt with ro's as long as you don't get locked into a 'route' beforehand- so, let's say I have a childhood crush on Nimue, but then flirt with Galahad, BUT I also sometimes flirt with Nimue as well. In game, it would probably translate to the two characters experiencing confusion regarding who I'm interested in, and potentially start a few arguments. (At least, from what I understood from, I'll say this again, very old tumblr asks.)
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PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE DEAD!!!!! IT'S SO GOOD!!!
It isnt😁 shes also got another WIP in progress though, so it might take a while
Nope, TBOC is still kicking on! she's finishing up chapter 5, but the authors hand has been Not Doing Great, so this chapters progress will be rather slow as she recovers.
Amazing writing, but small twine coding detail: the <<silently>> command could be used to clean up the massive blank spaces left at the bottom of some passages. That way code and hidden choices don't add extra line breaks to the passage and make them super long.
by far the best interactive fiction I've read, and I've read quite a few!!! I loved all the characters and AHHH the worldbuilding! Im so far hooked!!!
Is it weird that my favorite part is your really well thought out lesson plan? Thank you for being so conscientious about it, it felt so very reasonable and served as a great intro to the lore as we learn alongside our little protagonist!
Discord server link!
Just finished reading up to the end of the current demo and overall I really enjoyed it! 😀
To start with, I'll talk about the parts I had some problems with. There were some points during the last two chapters (3 & 4) while Mordred was going about his daily life/lessons when nothing much was happening and it just felt like a bit of an info (lore) dump. I other words, it sort of dragged and I began to lose interest and skimmed. I wanted to be honest about my personal experience here even if it might not be the glowing praise some would give. Skimming is a subconscious reaction for me when my brain stops feeling engaged and searches for the next point of interest in a story. I'm not saying it was that way for other readers, but it was so far me.
I also lost some interest in the dragons, which somehow feel a little too normalised now, even mundane, and my 'fierce' dragon feels quite tame. I feel it's become a bit lax in upholding that sense of wonder that, as bonded as we may be with our dragon, we should still feel from time to time over these powerful creatures. I also feel that, due to being a Pendragon/Dragonblood, our insight and connection with dragons in general, even if we're cautious in not showing it, should still feel more profound then it does. Like we just perceive them on a level that others (besides Arthur) cannot, even if we're not actively engaging them. I still don't really get that vibe from it.
But other than those bits, I found your writing style is very mature and polished. I really love the way you portray Morgana - she genuinely feels as powerful and formidable as she should feel, and I think she is the character you write best. I'm always interested to see what she'll do next and what little (or not-so-little) schemes she's got cooking. Really nice. Our Mordred is also a well written MC - suitably complex. Lastly, I'm enjoying the building yet conflicted relationship between Mordred and Arthur - I'm really intrigued to see the future difficulties the relationship faces as the two grow closer and Arthur becomes even more conflicted between his trust in Merlin's prophecy and his own (potential) desire to recognise Mordred as his successor, and of course the potential public fallout of such a revelation. But I suppose that's all quite far in the future!
Most importantly, I felt disappointed when I reached the end of the demo and there was no more for now, which is always a good sign. 😊
I also hope we see more of Galahad soon - my male Mordred's chosen LI. So far the parts with him have been my favourite parts of this story (what can I say? I'm a sucker for the enemies-to-lovers trope). I enjoyed the nature of Mordred's relationship with him during our first meeting, and how by the end Galahad is potentially torn between the desire to believe and follow his father and the realisation that his father is not as perfect or right as he originally imagined, and Mordred may not be this world-ender that he's made to believe. I also like the antagonism between them too, and am interested to see how they'll interact when they're reunited after 5 years - what's changed, and how the attraction blossoms (both advertently and inadvertently) out of what starts out as antagonism. The complexity and changing nature of it is always a fun experience, in my opinion! ❤
I'm also wondering - will it be possible to romance Galahad even if our Mordred doesn't exactly try to befriend him? By that I mean, Mordred might still antagonise Galahad as he does him, but Galahad is observant enough to see how Mordred acts toward people he cares about, and that Mordred may not be quite as "horrible" as all that, not to mention Mordred's teasing flirts (potentially) getting him a bit flustered despite himself. Anyway, it would be interesting to know!
As a #galahad historian whose stalked his tag on the blog relentlessly, you can romance galahad without befriending him! As long as you show some romantic interest in him (whether oblivious or knowingly) and try to change his mind on you being Evil McEvilsteen from the Land of All Evil, a romance can happen!
Nice, thanks!
If I understood correctly there will be no poly routes, right?
Unless all character can be romanced at once, and we woukd have to deal with consequences such as they would be.
Well, according to (very old, so don't shoot me if I'm wrong) tumblr asks, you can flirt with ro's as long as you don't get locked into a 'route' beforehand- so, let's say I have a childhood crush on Nimue, but then flirt with Galahad, BUT I also sometimes flirt with Nimue as well. In game, it would probably translate to the two characters experiencing confusion regarding who I'm interested in, and potentially start a few arguments. (At least, from what I understood from, I'll say this again, very old tumblr asks.)
Ah, understandable.
Thank you for the information.