A small note: there's a few instances in the game's script where you've used variable named gawain_ro (as opposed to Gawain_ro) This causes some minor bugs, like conditionals which check for Gawain's romance always failing even if he does have feelings for MC, or the romance "score" not getting properly updated. hth.
This game is definitely shaping up to be one of the best narratives for this genre, and I really appreciate the retelling of the original story in a more open-ended way. It allows us to shape Mordred's personality and opinions, which is great. However, there is one thing that bothered me and kind of disrupted the flow of the story. We're still in the early stages of the overall story, with the author planning to make four books. The first three chapters of book one were fantastic and enjoyable, but chapter four fell apart. I have to say, if the author ever sees this, please tone down the descriptions of pointless places that won't appear again or serve any purpose. Chapter four is filled with an overwhelming amount of text describing things that didn't need that much attention. It's okay to explain places and things to paint a picture for the readers, but when it's done excessively, it slows down the story. Another issue is how slow-paced chapter four is, with all the unnecessary tasks and chores. It feels like filler, as if the author hasn't figured out how to move the story forward yet. I got bored reading it and ended up skimming over the lines of useless descriptions. Thankfully, things pick up near the end, and the ending of chapter four was great. Still, it felt like a missed opportunity. But hey, I'm not the writer of this story, just sharing my thoughts as a fellow game writer. On a positive note, chapter five had a better pace, and the drama and everything were enjoyable to read.
This is by far my favorite itch game! I feel really involved in the story by my choices. I love Modred and I want to protect them from the world. There is just one thing that I was really disappointed on. I simply wish that the introductions between the step mom and Modred is not just mentioned, but actually showing me this meeting and providing chouve in how this interactions went. Otherwise, the story just feels rushed past the introductions and lacks that emotional tie. At the moment I have little opinion over the step mom because of this skipped scene and little interactions so far. Despite of this, I'm still a biggest fan and I'm always finding myself replaying this game. You have a great writing talent!
Chapters 1-3 were quite strong but during chapter 4 the story just grinded to a major halt. Lots of time spent detailing locations we'll likely never see again, or random daily tasks that don't actually move the plot forward, yet no time spent detailing our first meeting with our own step mom!? Just a brief line about her having been nice to meet? That's so SAD. I was looking forward to our first meeting :(
Anyway, I can't get past the beginnings of Ch4. I'll wait until the story progresses and then slog my way through when I at least know that there will be lots more content to enjoy afterwards.
Good luck, author. Lots of potential to this story. Please consider making adjustments to Ch4 tho lol.
I would like to ask a question ,and if you can't answer that's fine I apologize if it was rude, how may chapters will this story have? NVM I saw someone in the comments answer my question lol but thank you nonetheless for writing this story, so my next question, will we see our character as a young adult or is that for the future novels?
Updates usually come out every time the patreon finishes a chapter, or reaches the midway point. The author broke her wrist a while ago however, so it is probably going to be a while until an update for either the patreon or public demo comes out!
as far as i know there is none (dont quote me on that), but if you go onto the authors tumblr theres a pinterest board that shows each of the characters aesthetics and stuff.
As for other characters, there aren't any portraits out yet, but if you scroll back far enough on the tumblr- say to 2022- you'll be able to find the picrews she did of the cast!
Edit: Also if you head over to the pinterest boards as mjmjh said, you get a really good feel as to the overall aesthetics of each character in game!
According to the tumblr (don't quote me it's been a while) book 1 is expected to be somewhere between 14-16 chapters, and there are going to be 4 installments in total for the series.
I’m already dating Gawain with my eye on Gally (long-term goals). I am fairly confident that as soon as things start to turn around with Galahad, Isac and Agravain are gonna walk in and sweep me off my feet, forcing me to reevaluate my plans again lol.
Im truly enjoying the game! I espcially enjoy how you have made it so both Arthur and Morgana have proper reasons for what they do, and flaws, so that neither is entirely correct or innocent.
One question though, what exactly does oblivious romance mean?
I really like this game! As someone who used to be a big fan Arthurian it is nice to see a game based on them. I love the way you can make galahd question all of his life choices just by being nice to him hahah. Gawain is such a sweet heart! I can't wait for this game to continued! like how are you going to handle Gawain and the green knight, Galahad and the grail, and How Lancelot and Guinevere romance will effect other characters. One complaint and that is with the choices, sometimes there are big gaps in-between choices and i keep having to scroll all the way down the page to make sure I wasn't missing any.
Llamagirl: We’ve got lots of love interests here for you! Me: Ooooh yes please show me the selection 🙏🏼 Llamagirl: Ok so we got sweet and innocent Gawain, childhood-crush Nimue, strong and passionate Elaine, and lots of other good LI’s for you to-
Galahad: I hope you and your entire bloodline burn in the fiery trenches of Tartarus where I never again have to be defiled by your filth. Shrivel up and die TRASH.
I can't help but be affected by Fate Grand Order, another game. That is all I need to give Galahad a chance, that and the fact that he IS acting out of concern for Gawain, plus he's still learning about the world.
Course, it's cause of FGO I get so confused... Because Morgan exists as THREE entities all at once: Morganna, Arthur's loving sister and daughter of Uther; Morgan Le Fay, Arthur's most viscious foe who constantly tried ot destroy him; Viviane, the Lady in the Lake who gave him Excalibur. Due to this she is the mother of Mordred (with Arthur), Agavain (Due to Lot), Gareth (Due to Lot), Gawain (Don't know who the father is but it's mentioned she raised him in Orkney) AND she's Lancelot's FOSTER mom due to the aspect as Viviane... plus apparently Viviane and Merlin were lovers? I get soo confused with the lore here due to Fate handeling her as a greater fairy and divided part of the planet's soul, so of course MULTIPLE conflicting legends are ALL true
When it comes to Arthurian mythos its about as complicated and messy as just about every mythos out there, so i wouldn't get too caught up on what a characters characterization is in certain variations of the story differing from other tellings. For example Mordred as a character wasn't even a villain or related to Arthur (hell in the very first instance of Arthur and Mordred as characters they died in the same battle but no mention is made of whether they fought alongside eachother or against eachother or any of that) and over the centuries Mordred variously is Arthurs child (like we have in this instance), nephew, archenemy and traitor, etc.
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What's the word count so far?
can't wait for the next chapter!!! I'm excited and curious.
A small note: there's a few instances in the game's script where you've used variable named gawain_ro (as opposed to Gawain_ro) This causes some minor bugs, like conditionals which check for Gawain's romance always failing even if he does have feelings for MC, or the romance "score" not getting properly updated. hth.
This game is definitely shaping up to be one of the best narratives for this genre, and I really appreciate the retelling of the original story in a more open-ended way. It allows us to shape Mordred's personality and opinions, which is great. However, there is one thing that bothered me and kind of disrupted the flow of the story. We're still in the early stages of the overall story, with the author planning to make four books. The first three chapters of book one were fantastic and enjoyable, but chapter four fell apart. I have to say, if the author ever sees this, please tone down the descriptions of pointless places that won't appear again or serve any purpose. Chapter four is filled with an overwhelming amount of text describing things that didn't need that much attention. It's okay to explain places and things to paint a picture for the readers, but when it's done excessively, it slows down the story. Another issue is how slow-paced chapter four is, with all the unnecessary tasks and chores. It feels like filler, as if the author hasn't figured out how to move the story forward yet. I got bored reading it and ended up skimming over the lines of useless descriptions. Thankfully, things pick up near the end, and the ending of chapter four was great. Still, it felt like a missed opportunity. But hey, I'm not the writer of this story, just sharing my thoughts as a fellow game writer. On a positive note, chapter five had a better pace, and the drama and everything were enjoyable to read.
This is by far my favorite itch game! I feel really involved in the story by my choices. I love Modred and I want to protect them from the world. There is just one thing that I was really disappointed on. I simply wish that the introductions between the step mom and Modred is not just mentioned, but actually showing me this meeting and providing chouve in how this interactions went. Otherwise, the story just feels rushed past the introductions and lacks that emotional tie. At the moment I have little opinion over the step mom because of this skipped scene and little interactions so far. Despite of this, I'm still a biggest fan and I'm always finding myself replaying this game. You have a great writing talent!
this game is amazing, is there a discord for this?
Chapters 1-3 were quite strong but during chapter 4 the story just grinded to a major halt. Lots of time spent detailing locations we'll likely never see again, or random daily tasks that don't actually move the plot forward, yet no time spent detailing our first meeting with our own step mom!? Just a brief line about her having been nice to meet? That's so SAD. I was looking forward to our first meeting :(
Anyway, I can't get past the beginnings of Ch4. I'll wait until the story progresses and then slog my way through when I at least know that there will be lots more content to enjoy afterwards.
Good luck, author. Lots of potential to this story. Please consider making adjustments to Ch4 tho lol.
I would like to ask a question ,and if you can't answer that's fine I apologize if it was rude, how may chapters will this story have? NVM I saw someone in the comments answer my question lol but thank you nonetheless for writing this story, so my next question, will we see our character as a young adult or is that for the future novels?
how often do updates comme out? when will the next update be??
Updates usually come out every time the patreon finishes a chapter, or reaches the midway point. The author broke her wrist a while ago however, so it is probably going to be a while until an update for either the patreon or public demo comes out!
ok, thank you so much!
Where can I find the portraits of the characters (specifically Gawain, I love him)
as far as i know there is none (dont quote me on that), but if you go onto the authors tumblr theres a pinterest board that shows each of the characters aesthetics and stuff.
Galahad got one during a collab with the game dev of infinite stars! She posted the announcement on both tumblr and patreon.
https://www.tumblr.com/llamagirl28/719283327167873024/merlin-brings-you-an-excit...- the galahad portraits are at the very end of the post.
As for other characters, there aren't any portraits out yet, but if you scroll back far enough on the tumblr- say to 2022- you'll be able to find the picrews she did of the cast!
Edit: Also if you head over to the pinterest boards as mjmjh said, you get a really good feel as to the overall aesthetics of each character in game!
Hey, is there a discord server where I can talk with ppl about this game?
No idea; if you figure that out, please let me know!!
https://discord.gg/8dt2gnTe- link to the discord!
I LOVE THIS!!! I've always loved the Arthurian legend, and being able to go through it interactively is a dream come true!
Btw, how long do you intend for this to be by the end? (doesn't need to be exact, just a ballpark estimate is fine, again, love your work)
According to the tumblr (don't quote me it's been a while) book 1 is expected to be somewhere between 14-16 chapters, and there are going to be 4 installments in total for the series.
I’m already dating Gawain with my eye on Gally (long-term goals). I am fairly confident that as soon as things start to turn around with Galahad, Isac and Agravain are gonna walk in and sweep me off my feet, forcing me to reevaluate my plans again lol.
NO WHO AM I GOING TO CHOOSE SHOULD I WAIT FOR GALAHAD OR GO FOR ELAINE??
cant wait for more
I can't get enough of this. Morgana my beloved tbh
Im truly enjoying the game! I espcially enjoy how you have made it so both Arthur and Morgana have proper reasons for what they do, and flaws, so that neither is entirely correct or innocent.
One question though, what exactly does oblivious romance mean?
A crush that Mordred doesn't realize is a crush yet (like the beginning stages of one)
I really like this game! As someone who used to be a big fan Arthurian it is nice to see a game based on them. I love the way you can make galahd question all of his life choices just by being nice to him hahah. Gawain is such a sweet heart! I can't wait for this game to continued! like how are you going to handle Gawain and the green knight, Galahad and the grail, and How Lancelot and Guinevere romance will effect other characters. One complaint and that is with the choices, sometimes there are big gaps in-between choices and i keep having to scroll all the way down the page to make sure I wasn't missing any.
Llamagirl: We’ve got lots of love interests here for you!
Me: Ooooh yes please show me the selection 🙏🏼 Llamagirl: Ok so we got sweet and innocent Gawain, childhood-crush Nimue, strong and passionate Elaine, and lots of other good LI’s for you to-
Galahad: I hope you and your entire bloodline burn in the fiery trenches of Tartarus where I never again have to be defiled by your filth. Shrivel up and die TRASH.
Me:….That one.
Llamagirl: WHA-????
Oh, trust me, she understands why Galahad is so popular. xD
Me: I second that.
Galahad: *completely unable to comprehend how this is happening to him...*
I can't help but be affected by Fate Grand Order, another game. That is all I need to give Galahad a chance, that and the fact that he IS acting out of concern for Gawain, plus he's still learning about the world.
Course, it's cause of FGO I get so confused... Because Morgan exists as THREE entities all at once: Morganna, Arthur's loving sister and daughter of Uther; Morgan Le Fay, Arthur's most viscious foe who constantly tried ot destroy him; Viviane, the Lady in the Lake who gave him Excalibur. Due to this she is the mother of Mordred (with Arthur), Agavain (Due to Lot), Gareth (Due to Lot), Gawain (Don't know who the father is but it's mentioned she raised him in Orkney) AND she's Lancelot's FOSTER mom due to the aspect as Viviane... plus apparently Viviane and Merlin were lovers? I get soo confused with the lore here due to Fate handeling her as a greater fairy and divided part of the planet's soul, so of course MULTIPLE conflicting legends are ALL true
When it comes to Arthurian mythos its about as complicated and messy as just about every mythos out there, so i wouldn't get too caught up on what a characters characterization is in certain variations of the story differing from other tellings. For example Mordred as a character wasn't even a villain or related to Arthur (hell in the very first instance of Arthur and Mordred as characters they died in the same battle but no mention is made of whether they fought alongside eachother or against eachother or any of that) and over the centuries Mordred variously is Arthurs child (like we have in this instance), nephew, archenemy and traitor, etc.
I just finished the latest update and I feel *wow*
This has to be one of my favorite interactive stories ever. Please never stop writing this ❤️❤️❤️